Excerpt
"Live as you will have wished to have lived when you are dying.”
- Christian Furchtegott Gellert
"I gave Grandma’s pearls to your sister,
but—great news—you’re getting her pearls of wisdom!"
It’s been a long nine chapters. For a moment, let’s leave the realm of dying, its legal and medical complications and the documentation of end-of-life wishes. Instead, let’s talk about making a record of the part that comes before dying: living.
The old becomes new again
A Last Will and Testament directs the distribution of property and provides for the care of minor children (of the four-legged variety as well). And as you now know, a Living Will is a document that specifies the person’s wishes for end-of-life care. So what is an ethical will? Well, it isn’t new: ethical wills were first described in the Hebrew Bible 3,000 years ago.1 An ethical will is not a legal document and it is not used to convey title to the family heirlooms or distribute generations of wealth. As important as the passing of those valuables is, an ethical will is the bequest of personal values, a legacy of who you are—rather than what you have (or had).
“What you have learned is as valuable as what you have earned...”2 is another way to describe the essence of an ethical will. It is the recordation of your values and what you stand for. It can include a narrative of your personal life, but an ethical will is more likely to be written from the viewpoint of how you have lived rather than where you have lived.
If your ethical will is written upon the birth of a child or grandchild, it might contain your own life story, bringing ancestors alive to family members who never knew them. Or perhaps the motivating event will be a marriage, divorce, terminal illness or someone’s passing. Any milestone in life may trigger the desire to record one’s personal reflections on the past and hopes for the future.
Ethical wills were originally preserved by reciting personal values to the loved ones present at the time of death.3 Coming full circle with the aid of technology, you may choose to record your own thoughts with the use of a tape recorder or video recorder, providing your voice and/or face to your family and friends along with your thoughts.
Here is an excerpt from an ethical will:
“I am a quiet man, and I know I have never offered much in the way of spiritual guidance. However, I hope that my manner of living has served as a living example of my own moral code.
As you know, this family has had its roots here at Otter Creek since your great-grandpa Jack settled it way back in 1867. I certainly don’t expect you to keep the farm; I realize that even little Eddie will follow his big brother and sister to the city. My only request is that the house and the 15 surrounding acres be preserved as a family vacation spot. I want you to bring your children to relax, fish, swim, and have fun pursuing life’s simple things, but most importantly, to stick together as a family.
This ethical will is an excellent example of linking the passing of a family valuable with the family values it represented for the author.